Worst of All Zones, the Friendzone

For one party it can be an absolutely dreadful experience (or maybe you are one of those people who have no problem with it, *cough*masochist*cough*) and the other party believes they have just found they best friend for life who will be that shoulder to cry on when their Prince Charming isn’t acting too charming. Some of you have had the honor of putting someone in the friendzone and you my friend are an evil person. Nah I was simply joking, or maybe I’m not. There are always the same group of people that end up shackled and chained in here. Usually it’s the sweet kids like Little Suzy, the quiet kids like Little Bobby, the good ol’ childhood friends, and the females that act like one of the guys. If you find this a surprise maybe you should remove the rainbow blindfold you consistently have on your eyes. Maybe the classic jerk is in here, but I had a feeling that they would leave in a flash and you’d never hear from them again.

Their are many a ways that some of us have ended up here. Some killed them with kindness, others they weren’t interested in you, and some of us were dumb enough to think you weren’t going to be here by befriending someone who was in a relationship. However there were some of you that had a chance and you blew it either by doing something ridiculously idiotic or you didn’t use your vocal cords. To think that could’ve been you in your now newly declared arch-nemesis’s shoes all because you didn’t read the signs (this one is for the guys about the ladies guys don’t use signs). I’m sure we all know the symptoms of it because some of us have been sitting in it for a pretty extended period of time. I’ll go over them for the sake of reopening old wounds, and who doesn’t like that? Numero uno, you are the first one they want to call on in the distress of their situation, why, because you listen and give off the aura that you care. Numero dos, some of you have earned the title of “best friend” or a familial one like “bro” or “sis” and at this point and time it would be wise of you to exit dramatically stage left. They often tell you “Why can’t they find people more like you?!”. Now for the last one I know this boils your blood to the point you can have a nice boiled egg for breakfast because, ironically you are a person that is like you yet they don’t see this. This symptom is the best one though because, right before you both get ready to fall asleep after an extended conversation about their self, they’ve told you that they loved you but in the back of that large cranium of yours you know they don’t mean it like that.

Now don’t get me wrong, their is always that rare case that somebody discovers the motherland and is drafted/cuffed/etc and is now a very happy individual. Don’t rely on this or you will be that old, bitter person that is always telling kids to get of their lawn. So you are in the friendzone, so now what? Well either you exit like the classic jerk or you embrace it. If you choose to embrace it, please feel free to adopt Carl Thomas’s I Wish as your theme song. Maybe it will help you feel better. I’m also not talking to you if both parties are perfectly fine being friends, this is for the people that are very deeply hurt.


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