You have made it my beautiful brethren. If you’ve graduated college that’s cool and all, but I’m here specifically to address those who have just graduated High School. Look at you and you’re bad self. You’ve conquered the struggle that some call the, “Best Four Years of Life.” You’ve reached the final destination and had your named called out, while you were dressed in your Preacher robe and weird cardboard hat. With a high school diploma in your hands, in the young wise words of Kevin Hart, “it’s about to go down.” From here our paths diverge to even greater extremes, as we all go find our place in humanity. Share this with family and friends who are all apart of the Class of 2014, don’t be a scrooge with this valuable piece of nothing.
So, my brethren you have now acquired a piece of paper that now validates you becoming a robot in society at some point or another. Salute to my men and women who are giving the ultimate gift for a friend in serving in the military. May good graces shine upon you and favor follow your footsteps. You’ve taken on a burden that would crush the average Joe and Julia. It’s because of people of your caliber that I am able to even type this right now. You are the reason for the safety of all my loved ones and there is not enough appreciation for you guys, especially for those who come back on this soil who are mutilated physically and/or psychologically. Semper Fi and Semper Paratus, for I know you guys’ll keep me safe.
For my people continuing their education, please, please, PUH-LEASE, turn down when you need to. Some of us will still be tucked under our parents while others are quite the distance away. My plea to you all, is to simply keep in touch. Don’t go ghost, just because you go to Ha-vard. Maybe you’re still in that period of finding yourself, well here’s your chance, your new alma mater is where you can make your impact. This isn’t the kitty pool of high school, but it’s not the deep pool of the real world. You can bounce off the bottom of the pool to keep your head above the water. Also beware the Freshman 15, unless that 15 lbs you’ve gained is muscle. If that’s the case hip-hip hooray for you for not succumbing to the diet of ramen noodles and Pepsi. Special shout-out to my family from Neuqua Valley High School, I’ll see some of you soon, others it’s a good 10 years.
For you people that are entering the workforce, or “taking a break from school” do what you need to do. Go out there and make yourself a little bank. Get your brand established and show everybody that you can make yourself into something without the degree. Good luck in the real world, we’ll see you soon. If you plan on traveling the world, slide some pictures over to JJ, he’s curious about where he should visit. It’ll go right on his bucket list, I promise you.
With that I will be closing my public address. Show the world that when we get our momentum going, everybody better watch out. When it’s all said and done, “Venimus, Vidimus, Vicimus.” Seeing as how some of you aren’t apart of this lovely class, I might have something that I can give you guys. Stay tuned.